I received an email from my internet provider today warning me that we had some heavy usage happening this week. I almost sent them a picture of my middle finger and then another picture of my 4 yo curled around her iPad like a security blanket with her booger-filled tissues littered around.
Umm…yes…internet provider, we have had some heavy usage. Bite me. I’m pretty sure your job is to just PROVIDE INTERNET and not judge our heavy usage. If watching hours of Room on the Broom and Daniel Tiger is what will help my coughing, feverish, very crabby 4 yo feel half-way normal, then that is what is going to happen. In a related note, I haven’t had much sleep and may be feeling a little more hostile than normal.
This is her all dressed up in her ski clothes to NOT go to her ski class where her teacher has promised gummy bears. I haven’t told her yet, I’m scared.
I had very high hopes coming into 2016. Goals. Schedules. Lists. Things were going to HAPPEN. And now it’s the end of January and I’m not really sure what actually happened.
It all starts to get fuzzy after our dog died. He was probably the best dog in the world and it’s hard to explain the grief of losing an elderly pet. He was almost 14 and his back hips would sink if he stood too long and he couldn’t really hear our voices anymore, so we had to motion with our hands when we wanted him to go outside. He had been our first baby. He was a wild and annoying toddler who escaped to the beach any chance he got. He was a happy and loyal guard who, after we moved to the mountains, only barked when it was serious; bears, moose, coyotes. He was afraid of brooms and plastic bags. He once went to sniff what he thought was a log on the beach and it happened to be a large sea lion that barked at him and then he was afraid of logs. He once came home with his toenails inexplicably painted red with a note in his collar that said, We love you Cookie. His name was Reckless. He loved to lay in the sun and that is where I picture him now. Or like this.
We also played hooky from life one week and escaped to Crested Butte. Just the four of us. We have never done that before. We skied and swam and rode the shuttle into town each night to eat great food and then we would rush out at just the right moment to run our frozen butts off to try to catch the shuttle again. I remember snuggling with the kids on the bus, the ice sculptures, sitting in the outdoor hot tub while snow flakes floated down, margaritas the size of my head, watching Nora turn on her skis like the next Lindsey Vonn, watching Gray jump off of everything he could find to jump off of, the scary drive home.
And now Nora has been sick this whole week and I am reminded of that quote about how to make god laugh. I guess I made too many plans, because January hasn’t looked anything like I had written down in my planner. So, if there has been some heavy internet usage this week it’s because I think I’m feeling a little afloat.
January has seemed to be a lesson in letting go for me, letting go of our dog friend, our schedules, any semblance of control over our lives. And that is probably okay. Until February. Right?