Four-year-olds can get very angry. At 4, they are harder to fool, and they have a lot of passion about things like yogurt. Also, they can speak in full sentences and tell you exactly what they think, which is not always nice. I made the recent mistake of disagreeing with my own 4-year-old about whether or not …

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I have decided that becoming a sister wife might be the most awesome thing ever. A girlfriend who lives with me and helps me cook and clean and remember what our husband said during that last argument so we can both hold it against him? Yes, please. However, I also realize that it would take a special woman …

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  On the best days I patiently, creatively ward off Monsters. I am able to convince my children that we have magic Monster-proof paint on our house, or that the Monster is actually very tiny and wearing a tutu and singing Puff the Magic Dragon. On the worst days, I get horribly, loudly frustrated when …

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I’m over at Scary Mommy today!   Warning: Satire approaching, please do not actually follow these steps. Do you want to become a helicopter parent? Have your lovelies by your side and in your home for the rest of your life because they are unable to function in society? I have created an easy-to-follow list …

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I’m over at Scary Mommy today and here is a sneak peek;   If you have been on the internet lately, you may have seen an article in The New York post called, “I Get A Wife Bonus And I Deserve It, So STFU.” Written by an upperclass woman explaining that, because she stays at …

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Unknowingly, I am making myself obsolete. When I’m not right there, my son will comfort my daughter when she gets hurt. They dress themselves, they get their own snacks and can navigate Netflix better than their grandparents. And they don’t even ask me to get them a glass of water anymore because, I guess, the phrase, “Are …

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I haven’t been writing lately. There have been a million excuses, including sickness and LTYM and, you know, laundry. Oh and maybe a parasitic invasion but you’ll have to wait for my Listen To Your Mother talk to hear all about that. I’m sure you can hardly wait. When I don’t write, I start to …

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This was G’s Christmas in 2012 (Up on Scary Mommy today!) First off, I made sure that my son was SUPER excited to fly from snowy Colorado to sunny California on the day before Christmas to visit his grandparents with his Dad and me and his baby sister. See: SUPER EXCITED I noticed on the …

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This year, the stress I have created for myself over the holidays has made me want to hide in a pile of laundry, guaranteeing that no one will ever find me. I don’t know why I wait until the last minute to do it all, but I do. Something in me must like the drama. But I do …

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