I was smugly thinking to myself the other day that our 3 yo was in a pretty awesome place.

She had figured out that she liked cracking us up,



she was being just enough of a smart ass that it was cute,


and she was still saying things like, “I wuv you, Mommy.” Adorable.



She’s a month from being four. And I was feeling like I had survived the 3’s once again.

I was dumb.

Because the day I thought those thoughts was the day she turned into an insane person.

It started out innocently enough with her finding her L’s. She was so cute trying to put L’s on everything that she previously put Y’s on. She even said “yummy” like, “lummy” and “yogurt” like, “logurt.” She had her L’s, by damn, and she was going to use them. But I swear that the same day she found her L’s, that she also decided that she hated us. It was as if the L’s were some weird psychotic trigger.

For instance, after we tucked her in at night, she would spend hours dressing up in the dark and making nests on the floor or getting stark naked and pouring all of my expensive toiletries down the bathroom sink. She did most of these things so quietly and stealthily that sometimes we didn’t even know until we went to bed and it looked like there had been a rager outside her room.

She stopped eating anything that wasn’t logurt.

She started bossing me around and actually said, “whatever” when I asked her to pick up her toys one day. I was so shocked when she said this, that my husband accidentally burst out laughing at the look on my face, thereby insuring that she will now say, “whatever” for the rest of her life.

As I am writing this, she just stole her brother’s prized dream-catcher and hung it up her room, saying, “Now it’s my dream catcher!”

And now she just hit him with a barbie doll when he tried to take it back. I should probably go parent.

Okay, little girl, you have an improved vocabulary…that doesn’t mean I need to have a hormonal pre-teen psychopath in my house. That’s right.

I have heard that when kids’ brains are focusing on growing in one area, that other areas become less focused on.

It looks like our 3 yo’s L’s were inversely related to her being a tiny yittle terror.


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