I’m over at Scary Mommy this week!
Here is a peek:
Before becoming a mom, I had never asked the question, “Is it okay for this child to use my sock as toilet paper?” Or, after my two-year-old sprinkled her great grandparents ashes in her hair, I asked, “How much soap does it take to get human remains out of someone’s hair?” The answer: A lot. But I have asked these questions, now, and I can never go back.
Here are 25 other questions that I never knew I would be asking once I became a mother:
1. Is that chocolate… or poop?
2. Oh crap, will anyone notice that I’m wearing two different shoes?
3. Can a baby actually suck your life force out through your boobs?
4. Ketchup totally counts as a vegetable, right?
5. How is it that I have a college education and I can not solve this second grade math problem?
6. Wrestling this person into her clothes counts as cardio, right?
7. Did my mom hide in the bathroom, too?
8. How long can a kid survive on just toast?