I am an expert at this, apparently. By 8:00 this morning, we already had to watch the Sesame Street video on how belly breathing will help tame the little monster inside all of us. I’m not really sure if we watched it for her or for me, though.
I have a post up on Scary Mommy today in case you wanted to annoy the toddler in your life…
If you have kids, you will at one time have this irrational creature living in your house called a toddler. They are hilarious and cute and very easily annoyed. Here are 25 ways that you can annoy a toddler. I think I have done every one of these just this week.
1. Put jeans on them.
2. Hold them too tight or too loose.
3. Put salad on their plate.
4. Display affection for any of the other children in your house.
5. Don’t let them ride you like a horsey while you are attempting to do Granny push-ups on the floor.
6. Not stare into their eyes with complete focus while they are learning to use the potty.
7. Try to stand at the end of the one slide at the park that will launch them ten feet into the air, because clearly you didn’t stand there for their brother so you won’t be standing there for them, either.
8. Try to ever wear your new fancy shoes because you made the mistake of letting them try the shoes on once, so now the shoes are theirs.
9. Look sternly in their direction.
10. Don’t let them push those tiny carts in the grocery store when you just can’t bring yourself to deal with the drama that day.
11. Let the other kids in the house get on the bus to go to school.
12. Don’t let them talk to Grandma on the phone. For hours. And by talking I mean staring at the phone and smiling while Grandma and you both try desperately to get one word out of them.