Okay, maybe this isn’t a tutorial. Maybe more of a cautionary tale. But it could be a tutorial if you followed all of the steps outlined below that took me from a Cool-Meeting-Celebrities-Type-Person to a Squealing-Lunatic-Type-Person in just a few easy steps.

Once, in public, I saw someone ask Susan Sarandon, “Do you know if anyone is in this bathroom?”

Oh wait…that was me.

We were in Bar Harbor, Maine for a family vacation. And to be fair, it was a dimly lit restaurant and I was more concerned with getting my almost two-year-old son into the bathroom than with noticing if there was a world-famous celebrity sitting in the corner.

I’m sure she probably thought that I was inventing an excuse to talk to her, but I was really only thinking about how silly I would look if I was standing needlessly outside an empty bathroom. I sometimes do this. I think the door must have been locked and I had probably knocked, but I don’t really remember the details. Because that was when I recognized her.

She kinda shrugged at me and said, “I’m not sure?”

So, what did I do next? Well, of course, I immediately ran to my husband and all of my extended family and let them know that Susan Sarandon was sitting outside the bathroom. And then when my son and I eventually made it into and then out of the bathroom, I couldn’t stop myself from looking over at her one last time which was when my son spied the small white dog sitting on the chair next to her and yelled “Doggie!” I looked at her sheepishly, like yeah, you caught me, I have now figured out who you are and I will proceed to stand here like a starstruck teeny bopper.

And then? And then she asked me if my son wanted to pet her dog. Umm. Yeah he does. How could you tell? By the rabid look in his eyes as he frantically tried to claw his way out of my arms, or by how he was shouting “Doggie!” with ever-mounting excitement?

And that was when Grayson, my first born child….Pet. Susan. Sarandon’s. Dog. She complimented him on how gentle he was being. I fully admit that this was a very proud moment for me. She was really quite beautiful. Susan Sarandon that is, not the dog. Well, the dog was okay, I’m sure. I think I might have blanked out a bit because it was such a surreal situation.

And I was like, I am so cool. I’m totally not being weird or anything. I can TOTALLY meet celebrities. I’m like a Cool-Celebrity-Meeting-Type-Person.

And then as the totally Cool-Celebrity-Meeting-Type-Person that I was, I said, “Thank you so much! See you at Cannes!” Just kidding about the Cannes part. We then walked out of the restaurant (I might have sauntered a little with my newfound status) and as we got outside, it was as if the goofy girl who was trying to be cool just couldn’t keep it together anymore. I turned to my husband, Robb, and I began to jump up and down and squeal “Oh My God! Oh My God! Grayson just pet Susan Sarandon’s dog!”

But Robb did not appear to be as excited as I was and actually he widened his eyes a little, and shook his head at me…just a bit. And then he mouthed “shhhh” at me.

Huh. Weird.

But I didn’t care- I was on a high that only a person who secretly reads People Magazine and then meets one of THE PEOPLE, can be. But then, Robb subtly motioned with his head to the very tall man that was standing right next to him. A very tall man that couldn’t help but be overhearing the excited shrieks that were coming out of me.

Yeah. Tim Robbins. Who is in fact, very tall. And who was most likely smirking at the crazy girl standing outside the restaurant jumping up and down with glee about her kid petting his family dog.

Yes, I am so very cool.


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15 thoughts on “How To Embarrass Yourself In Front of Celebrities. A Tutorial.

  1. I can’t believe I didn’t know this about you! I can’t even believe you hang out with a plebian such as myself.

  2. Ok, totally awesome and would have loved to have met her, too. And I am so not sure I could have acted as cool as you if I did, but still love that you got to meet and talk to her. Thank you for linking up with us again!! 🙂

  3. Rich Rumple says:

    Never having been a superstar like her, but having had a certain amount of success as a headlining comedian in the past, I have to say, “People are people!” I used to be amazed at how many people waited to talk to me after a show … like it was a big thing for them … especially those in mid sized cities. There’s really not that many prima donnas in the business, even among the upper level folks. I’ll admit to being starstruck when I first got in the business once when I was middling for a past TV star comedian, but one meal together, a few gas releases by her (upper and lower), and a couple of drinks and we were like old friends. I think the only thing that pissed off all comedians I knew was when someone came up and said, “Hey, I’ve got a joke you can use in your next show!” They never did, and we never did. lol Good post!

  4. sharkrell says:

    AWESOME!! I’m so glad you shared this story because it’s still one of my favorites… And I’m so glad that it happened to you and your two year old while I and my two year old (and 7 year old) were around the corner!! 🙂 Love it so much… it still makes me giggle!

  5. Too cute! That would totally happen to me as well – getting busted by Tim after the fact. Guess you gave him his smile for the night. 🙂

  6. very cool. I have never encountered an actual famous celebrity! (or if I have) I wasn’t paying attention. I like the ‘dog gambit’…totally would be something I would try, liking dogs as I do.

  7. Stephanie Sprenger says:

    OMG, I am dying! That is so hilarious! I would have jumped and squealed like a spazz, too. What a great story!

  8. Ha! My husband travels a lot and has found himself in close proximity to a few celebrities. He, of course. always keeps his cool and casually tells me later “I was sitting beside such and such on the plane today.” I guess it’s better him than me, because I wold probably do the squealing thing too and ask stupid, inappropriate questions!

  9. findingninee says:

    This is awesome! I would have been over the moon with excitement too. That is SO cool that your son got to pet her dog!
    AND you just reminded me of something…my celebrity story! Thanks for that because I’d completely forgotten all about it. I’d tell you about it here but it’s not nearly as cool as yours.

  10. ERMAGAWRSH! That. Is. AMAZING 😀 WOW! I hope they at least had a laugh at your expense later, and remembered you. That is WAY COOL 😀

  11. Ahahaha! That’s awesome. Celebrity encounters are so funny. I was exiting a fancy restaurant once when I was about 18 and Ollie North held the door for me. I didn’t know who he was. I thought he looked familiar though – did I play tennis with this guy once? I told him he could go and he said I could go and then I went. Outside, my dad told me who it was. I was all, Dang, I just held the door for Ollie North. At the time, I still wasn’t sure who he was except for the dude that was on TV that whole summer in the court room.

  12. That was really funny. Had a smile on my face the whole time I was reading. Thanks for the smiles. I could just picture the whole scenario. Good one.

  13. Katia says:

    I’m so happy you’ve linked up and commented and now I know about your blog, because you are funny!!! That was hilarious and I actually look up to those who read “People” as an US Weekly consumer.

  14. I laugh until my sides hurt every time I hear this story!!!

  15. laurapayette says:

    I laughed — a lot! This is too awesome. I didn’t see Susan Sarandon (or anyone famous) when I went to Bar Harbor. Now I feel gypped. 😉

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