Dear Lord…or the Universe…or the Internets,
Please help me remain humble and not take any of my shameless self-promotion so seriously that I forget about the children that I so lovingly write about.
And if I ever think about writing a post documenting my outfits, please remind me that nobody cares to see me in my jeans and my lame attempt at fashion by throwing a dress over them.
Also, remind me that I must not Reveal All…for my mother-in-law reads this blog faithfully and it might make Thanksgiving dinners awkward. And my children will be pissed at me when they are older if I write too much about their bowel movements.
Keep me from Twitter for I am not witty in 140 characters for whatever reason so I should not embarrass myself in this way.
And please give me patience when my young child walks up to me covered in paint, or egg yolks or drinking a glass of water from the toilet, and don’t let me be angry since it is my own damn fault for working all morning on making a badge for my website that I will never use because I am clearly not a computer programmer. Clearly.
Make me humble with the realization that I probably won’t get into the Huffington Post the very first time I submit. Or probably even the 100th.
But keep me submitting and writing because I tend to quit when things get too hard and now the whole world, or at least my dozen or so followers, are watching in what I can only imagine is breathless anticipation for the next words I write.
And when I get that twitchy eye, give me the strength to just look away (look away!) from the beautiful glow of the computer screen and go outside and enjoy the even more beautiful world.
And on those days that I actually do get published, please keep my finger away from the oh-so-tempting site-stats button because that post really isn’t going to go viral. It really isn’t.
And, finally, let me remember that I don’t know what HTML code is and I never will.