1. You can show your children the amount of crazy that the human species has produced all in one place.

2. You can work on your own pesky aversion to germs by watching the children lick all types of public surfaces.

3. You can have your six-year-old practice social skills by making him talk to the Frontier clerk to ask for help getting his favorite stuffed animal down from a 50 foot beam, where the child had thrown it, for fun.

4. You can work on your agility by trying to simultaneously leap over your bag-filled stroller to stop your toddler from getting onto the escalator and pull your six-year-old from oncoming foot traffic because he is walking backwards, for fun.

5. Because it’s a thrill to get that little jolt of adrenaline every time they announce your plane is going to be another hour later.

6. Because the airport McDonalds is just THAT good.

7. Because you like to see your toddler refuse three different meals presented to her and proceed to only want to eat the disgusting warm cheese that you had packed many hours ago, and because you are so desperate to see her eat something, you let her.

8. You can work on negotiation skills with your six-year-old while playing Mad Libs in order to avoid writing the words butt, stinky, toilet, or farted in every single blank space.

9. You can support the economy by spending 3 dollars on bottled water and you don’t even care about the environmental impact because you are sure that there was some type of alien life-form growing from the water fountain.

10. Because after being in an airport for six hours your 18-month-old is really going to feel like sitting quietly on your lap for two hours on the airplane, and not, let’s say, flail about like a spider monkey on crack.

11. And finally, after arriving at your in-laws’ and they take the children from you and fix you a delicious dinner and you wash your hands about 5 times, that glass of wine never tasted so good.

If this makes you happy, then you should be overjoyed to know that I’m on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and even Pinterest!

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2 thoughts on “11 Reasons to Spend 6 hours By Yourself in the Airport with Two Small Children

  1. Pam says:

    You survived! I love the caption “binky prevents licking.” Genius:)

  2. Joan Meyer says:

    Joelle: This really is a riot! The visuals and helpful tips for the beleagured Mom-traveler. Gives a whole new meaning to “winging it”! Love, Aunt J.

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